TNA iMPACT! Report – 29/03/2010



TNA iMPACT! Report – 29/03/2010

Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

Video package highlighting last week’s Jarrett-Foley bout.

Video from earlier today. Hogan tried apologizing for Eric Bischoff’s actions last week and Jarrett said he doesn’t have to apologize, it was all on Eric. Hogan says he has tons of respect for Jarrett and he wants to give Jarrett another start. He makes a match between AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett for tonight, if Jarrett wins, he will become the number one contender after LockDown.

In comes Jay Lethal! He lets us know Hogan isn’t going to be on the show tonight. Laaame. Lethal asks to pull in for Hogan and references the Megapowers. Hulk Hogan does a Macho Man impression and puts Lethal in charge for the evening…I think.

WOLFPAC IN THE HOOOOOOOOUSE~! The Band’s music plays (which is the Wolfpac music for those who missed it) and they are out with Bubba the Love Sponge. Sponge calls the fans in attendance marks and says not one of them wouldn’t want to be him. Bubba says he doesn’t need the job but if he’s going to work in TNA, he wants to hang out with The Band. They get what he does. He says Christy Hemme and Jeremy Borash have no business interviewing The Band so he will do it from now on. He calls Eric Young Vince Young and says Big Sexy has some words for Nash.

Bubba hands off the stick to Kevin Nash and he talks about his friendship with EY. He wants to apologize to Eric Young and calls him out.

EY is out by himself. Nash says what he did was wrong but they’re friends. What he did was business, not personal. If there is anyone that should join The Band, it’s Eric Young. Nash tries to call the six man tag off and says Hardy and RVD aren’t in their league. He asks EY to join The Band. Young punches Nash. Pac and Hall try to take him out but he punches them. EY turns his attention to Bubba but that allows Nash attack him from behind. The Band take over from there. Nash says Young had a chance and kicks him. Hall delivers a right hand and that brings out Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam. The Band and Bubba leave the scene immediately.

Jeff Hardy gets on the microphone and says he’s ready to do the six man right now. He says since they think they’re the main event, they’ll make it the main event. In honor of LockDown, the six man tag will take place inside a Steel Cage. I didn’t think Hardy’s theme song could get any worse but he actually sings it in the middle of the ring as we head to commercial.

Doug Williams and Brian Kendrick are out for our opening tag match. Shannon Moore and Frankie Kazarian are their tag partners. Taz references that Dilligaf thing. If I cared about Moore, I’d probably Google it. Taz mentions possible dissention between Kendrick and Williams because of that promo Williams gave a few weeks back bashing the flippy guys of the X Division.

Match One
Shannon Moore and Kazarian versus Doug Williams and Brian Kendrick

Moore knocks Kendrick out of the ring and brings Williams in to start the match. Moore attacks Williams in the corner and tags in Kaz. Dropkick by Kaz. Pinfall gets one. Kaz slams Williams to the mat and attacks with a slingshot legdrop. Two count. Williams takes Kaz down and tags in Kendrick. Kendrick runs into two arm drags from the former Suicide. Kaz beats Kendrick in the corner and shoots him into the opposite turnbuckle. Dropkick in the corner by Kaz. He tries to go back but the ref is in the way. Williams clotheslines him to the mat. Kendrick and Williams double-team Kaz while the ref pays attention to Moore. Kendrick goes for a pin but he gets a one.

In comes Doug Williams on a tag with a knee to the face. He takes Kaz down and wraps his legs around Kaz’s neck. He slams Kaz’s head against the turnbuckle and tags in Kendrick. Kendrick chokes him with his boot in the corner. He takes Kaz to the mat and chokes him there. Kendrick clubs Kazarian in the face a ton of times. Kazarian gets to his feet and punches Brian Kendrick. He runs off the ropes but collides heads with Kendrick in the middle of the ring. Kaz tries to tag Moore in but Kendrick holds him down. Both men tag in their partners. Moore delivers kicks to both Williams and Kendrick. He sends Williams into the corner,. Williams reverses it to the other corner but misses a knee attack. Moore climbs the ropes and comes down with a hurricanrana. Pinfall broken up by Kendrick. Combination spin kick-German suplex to Kendrick from the faces. Williams comes in and headbutts Moore. He sends Moore into the corner and crashes into Moore’s boot. Moore attacks Kendrick with a neckbreaker from the top rope and covers for the win.

WINNERS: Shannon Moore and Kazarian

Good opening match. I hate Moore’s thing but it makes him look good in his feud with Williams.

Shannon Moore applies an X on the forehead of Brian Kendrick after the match.

We’re in Eric Bischoff’s office. He tells someone in New York (Hogan) that he’ll make it work. He calls in a secretary and tells him to keep someone out of his office.

In comes Jay Lethal! They share the Wolfpac hand gesture. Lethal says he has the card made up and asks the secretary to get Kabuki on the line. A bunch of matches between guys like King Kong Bundy and the Junk Yard Dog are on Lethal’s list. Bischoff tells Lethal to come up with a main event and Lethal seems pumped for the task. He tells his secretary to get Beer Money.

D’Angelo Dinero is out to address the fans in the Impact Zone. He starts off with his LockDown Title Match against AJ Styles. He’s worked hard for it for his whole life and Styles and Flair almost took it away from him. Styles is a shadow in the streetlights and Pope is TNA’s Guiding Light. Pope says he’s going to give some prophetic advice. He wants Styles to go to Florida, go down to some space center and grab an astronaut suit because he’s going to be taken into the outer limits by the Pope. He puts over Styles for a bit but says Styles will never be as spectacular as the Pope. He ends his promo by saying he will be the World Champion after LockDown.

Out comes Desmond Wolfe’s girl Chelsea. Pope eyes her for a second and calls her a dime piece. She says Pope can do one thing for her and that one thing is to help her be a ho. He asks her if she knows how to drive a stick. She says she can’t say she does but she’s a quick learner. She then asks if he has a gun in his pocket or just happy to see her. Desmond Wolfe comes in but Pope sees him. Dinero decks Wolfe, knocking him out of the ring. He returns to Chelsea and gives her a kiss. He puts a Pope Dollar in her shirt and leaves. Pope-Wolfe is later tonight.

Tara is walking backstage. Her match is next.

We see Samoa Joe on a blurry camera. “They have spoken,” he says. “The results will be different…very different.” Taz and Tenay wonder who “they” are. They then go into hype mode for tonight’s show. Tara and Daffney are up next with a first blood Knockouts Title match and the Band closes the show with a match against RVD, Jeff Hardy and Eric Young.

Weird music plays and someone comes down from the rafters…in yellow caution tape. Taz lets us know it’s Orlando Jordan. Wow. He crawls in the ring for a bit before turning his attention to a camera on the ramp. He crawls down the ramp and stops. Tenay and Taz look disgusted. Orlando walks around the fans for a bit and stops. Curtains raise and we see a lady and guy sitting in on a couch. OJ joins them and just watches. Odd.

We go to Jeremy Borash in the back. She’s mad because Daffney stole her spider. She says it isn’t about submissions or pinfalls, it’s about blood. Daffney runs in with a punch and the ladies brawl in the back. Tara slams her face against some steps. She then throws Daffney into a gate. More face first shots into the steel gate from Tara. Their match is up next.

Match Two
Tara © versus Daffney
First Blood Match for the Knockouts Title

We return with the ladies brawling on the stage. The bell rings and the match is officially underway. Tara slams Daffney’s face into some of the stage. She tries to capitalize but Daffney kicks her and slams Tara’s face into some steel. Daffney then decides to bite Tara in the head. She pulls the hair and asks the ref to check Tara. Tara takes Daffney down and attacks her around the announce table. She drags Daffney down some steps and pull her hair. Daffney gets out of Tara’s grasp and kicks her. Daffney whips Tara into the platform the announce desk is on. Daffney grabs some cable and chokes Tara with it. She drags Tara by the cable. Daffney looks under the ring and finds a tool box and a broom. She nails Tara with the broom twice. Tara rolls into the ring and Daffney has the broomstick, this time it’s broken in half. She tries to stab Tara with the sharp stick but Tara stops her. They struggle but Tara eventually overpowers Daffney with a kick. Daffney tries to stab her but Tara nails her with a boot. Widow’s Peak from Tara to Daffney. Daffney picks up the toolbox and slams it across the head of Daffney. Ref checks Daffney’s face and there is blood (apparently).


I guess this was entertaining. If you like the hardcore stuff, you’ll dig this match. Just an okay bout to me though.

Camera finally gets a closeup of Daffney and the blood is there (although barely). Daffney licks her blood and stares at Tara.

Ric Flair and AJ Styles are making their way to the ring backstage. Jarrett-Styles is next.

Another video package recapping the stuff between Foley, Bischoff and Jarrett.

Jeff Jarrett is out with his music and pyro. The World Champ is out sans Ric Flair after. Styles gets to the ring and Chelsea finally wheels Flair down the ramp.

Match Three
Jeff Jarrett versus AJ Styles
If Jarrett wins, he’s the number one contender after LockDown

Styles and Jarrett grapple. Styles sends Jarrett to the mat and poses. Another grapple. Styles gets a headlock but transitions into a snapmare takedown. He messes with the back of Jarrett’s head and poses again. Another grapple. Styles wrenches the arm but Jarrett reverses. Another reverse from Styles. Hip toss from Styles to Jarrett. Styles stops the match with a pseudo-Flair strut. Chinlock applied by Styles. Jarrett tries to take him off but Styles takes him to the mat with a shoulder. Arm drag by Jarrett. That’s followed up with a hip toss. A bunch of right hands to Styles and that’s followed up with a huge atomic drop. Jarrett clotheslines AJ out of the ring and does the Jarrett strut. Ric Flair is mad. Jarrett goes to the outside and slams Styles’ head against the guardrail. He throws AJ back in. AJ attacks Jarrett when he gets back inside. Chop in the corner by Styles. Styles whips Jarrett into the corner and misses a splash. He whips Jarrett but Jarrett tries a boot. Styles catches the leg but Jarrett takes him out with an enziguri. Cover gets two.

Kneebreaker by Styles. He attacks the leg and then applies the figure four leglock. Flair wheels himself closer to the action and gives Styles his cane for more leverage. The ref talks to Flair so Styles gives his attention to him. Jarrett gets up and whips AJ into the ropes. Styles tries to counter but Jarrett takes him to the mat. Figure four leglock by Jarrett. Styles turns over and reverses the pressure. Jarrett tries to grab the rope but Naitch gets involved. The ref throws Flair out of the match. Styles tries to petition the decision on the ramp but he is unsuccessful. Jarrett follows Styles onto the mat and punches him. He throws Styles into the ring, taking us to a commercial.

Back from the break with Styles controlling the match. He takes Jarrett to his knees with a chinlock. We get some highlights of the commercial break action. Jarrett gets to his feet and throws some punches. He tries a crucifix pin but that’s unsuccessful. Knee drop to the face by Styles. The Champ goes back to the chinlock. Jarrett gets back up to his feet and again punches Styles. This time Styles sends Jarrett to the mat. Styles lifts Jarrett and sends his face into the turnbuckle. Chop in the corner by Styles. He takes Jarrett down and again applies the chinlock. Jarrett gets to his feet a third time and punches his way out. Styles throws an elbow to stun him. Styles tries a whip but Jarrett reverses and sends Styles flying. Clotheslines from Jarrett to Styles. Styles reverses a whip but Jarrett takes him down with a backdrop suplex. Jarrett kicks Styles and nails the Pedigree. He covers and it gets a two count.

Jarrett climbs the turnbuckle. He comes down into an AJ Styles knee. Styles takes Jarrett to the mat with a suplex and recovers in the corner. He stands on the apron and comes flying with a big forearm strike. Jarrett barely kicks out before three. Styles lifts Jarrett and positions him for the Styles Clash. Jarrett blocks and takes Styles out with the Alabama Slam. Both men are down so the ref starts to count them out. Ref gets to seven when he sees Flair back next to the ramp. Styles gets sent into the ref causing him to fall down to the outside. Jarrett slams Styles’ face into the steel turnbuckle. He climbs the ropes and sets up Styles for the Stroke from up top. It’s successful! He pins the leg but there is no referee. Eric Bischoff is out with a guitar! Jarrett turns his back and blocks the guitar shot. He points at Bischoff and threatens to hit him. Styles connects with a low blow. He delivers the Styles Clash and Bischoff gets the ref up. Ref counts a slow three count to give Styles the win.


Great TV match between these two TNA veterans. Didn’t do much for AJ Styles’ feud with Pope but furthered Jarrett’s career revival.

Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair share a fist bump after the match.

Jeremy Borash is with Eric Young, Rob Van Dam and Jeff Jarrett. EY thanks RVD and Hardy for saving him earlier. Young says he’s in the business for the right reasons, unlike Nash. RVD says he and Jeff are in it for the right reasons. They are at the top but they won’t stop fighting. He tells Young they have his back. Hardy says guys like Hall and Nash kicked Hardy down the ladder during his climb to the top. Eric Young asks Nash to look at his teammates and ask who traded up.

Lethal meets Eric Bischoff in the back. He makes a match that includes Brutus Beefcake. Bischoff says only one man belongs in the main event. Lethal asks if it’s Jimmy Snuka but Bischoff says it’s him. He tells Lethal to get to the ring because he’s up next. The music of James Storm and Robert Roode turns up and Jay Lethal’s smile dies.

Match Four
Jay Lethal versus Beer Money Inc

Lethal tries to punch Roode but Storm breaks it up. Roode and Storm take turns attacking Jay Lethal with strikes to the face. Storm and Roode whip Lethal and take him down with a huge back body drop. On the outside, Roode punches Lethal. They then whip Black Machismo into the steel steps. Storm rolls Lethal back in the ring and they perform a double-team suplex. Roode lifts Lethal but Black Machismo attacks him with a punch. A punch to Storm follows that. Roode cuts him off and they deliver their finisher. Storm goes to get a drink of beer but Lethal rolls up Roode for the victory.

WINNER: Jay Lethal

Nothing really to say here. Just done to further the “Lethal is annoying Bischoff” angle that’s been going on tonight.

Lethal channels his inner-Stone Cold Steve Austin and celebrates with beer after the match. Bischoff is angry.

Tenay and Taz update us on the condition of Hernandez. Taz says it could be several months before he returns. Tenay lets us know Hernandez has a herniated disc. They close by wishing him well and letting us know Matt Morgan will speak next week.

Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea are out for the match with D’Angelo Dinero. We get video of their confrontation from earlier. The Pope joins them shortly after.

Match Six
D’Angelo Dinero versus Desmond Wolfe

Pope takes off his shades and the ref rings the bell. Wolfe attacks him quickly and slams him to the mat. He lifts Dinero only to slam him to the mat again. Dinero reverses the hold into a hammerlock on the mat. Wolfe gets up and sends Pope into the ropes to break the hold. Wolfe elbows the Pope. He follows that up with an uppercut. Leg drop to the leg of the Pope is followed up with a leglock. Dinero turns it around but Desmond Wolfe reaches the ropes. Both men up. Wolfe kicks Dinero and takes him down with an uppercut. He slams Pope’s face into the turnbuckle. He and Chelsea share a glance at one another before he goes back to do more damage. Wolfe takes Dinero down with an arm twist. He wrenches the arm and takes Dinero to his knees. Dinero tries to slap Wolfe but Wolfe attacks hm. Dinero gets to his feet and takes Wolfe out with a cross chop. Inverted atomic drop by Pope. Dinero takes Wolfe down with a shoulder block. Series of reversals on the whip is followed up by a Thesz Press. Pope misses a backhand slap allowing Wolfe to send him into the corner. Wolfe misses an assault allowing Pope to thrust Wolfe in the face. Big elbow drop by the Pope. Chelsea takes the attention of Earl Hebner allowing Desmond Wolfe to wrap a steel chain around his fist. He punches Dinero and gets the victory.

WINNER: Desmond Wolfe

I think Pope needs as many victories as he can get right now but the guys booking TNA think otherwise. It was an entertaining match but that’s all these two guys have produced against each other.

Kurt Angle is on his way to the Impact Zone.

The new TNA steel cage is set up for the main event but Kurt Angle is out. Fans chant Angle as Taz and Tenay wonder why Angle is out instead of any of the men in the six man tag. Angle discusses his feud with Anderson and scoffs at the idea that Anderson is better than him. Angle says he’s an Olympic champion that has made a career out of winning and playing by the rules. He says he’s had control for the majority of his career but Ken Anderson has caused him to lose control. He goes over the Mr. Anderson’s attacks and says he and Anderson have a date in the steel cage. He says the ending of the match will see Kurt Angle covered in the blood of Mr. Anderson.

Which brings out Mr. Anderson in his “Pro Wrestling is Real, People are fake” shirt. Awful shirt for those that care about that stuff. His mic falls from the sky and he says it’s time to be “damn real.” Anderson says they’ve been fifty-fifty in their feud. Anderson says Eric Bischoff made a match between Mr. Anderson and Kurt Angle for next week…and it’s going to be a ladder match with the key to the LockDown steel cage at the top. Anderson says the better man won’t win because Kurt Angle is a better man than him. He says nice guys finish last and thanks God he’s an ass. He then repeats it.

Angle tries to leave but THE BAND’S~! music plays. Big Sexy and Kurt Angle share a Wolfpac fist bump reminding us of their time together in the Main Event Mafia. After a commercial break, the faces make their entrances, with less than ten minutes remaining in the show.

Match Seven
Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam and Eric Young versus The Band

Syxx Pac slams the door against Eric Young’s face and charges RVD and Jeff Hardy. Spinning wheel kick takes out RVD on the apron. Inside the ring, Kevin Nash attacks Jeff Hardy. Hall throws RVD in the ring and Waltman locks the door, making it a 3 on 2 situation. RVD tries to mount some offense on Nash but Nash is there with a boot. Hardy takes advantage of Scott Hall into Sean Waltman interrupts him with a punch. Waltman chokes Hardy with a shirt as Hall throws RVD into the steel cage. Sean Waltman delivers the Bronco Buster to Jeff Hardy in the corner. Chop to Hardy from Waltman. Scott Hall punches him to add more pain. RVD takes advantage of Kevin Nash with some kicks as Hardy takes control of the other two members of the band. Waltman tries a hurricanrana but Hardy powerbombs him to the mat. RVD delivers kicks to Nash and Hall and then lands the Rolling Thunder on Syxx Pac. Hall takes command of RVD in the corner as Nash takes advantage of Hardy. They try to whip them into each other but Hardy climbs RVD and delivers the Poetry in Motion. Eric Young climbs the steel cage as Hardy and RVD take command of their opponents. Eric Young is met by Sean Waltman but RVD takes Pac to the mat. All three members of The Band are down. RVD and Hardy both climb the turnbuckle and come down with their respective finishers. EY flies off of the top of the cage with an elbow drop to Sean Waltman. He covers and picks p the win for his team.

WINNER: Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam and Eric Young

I think these guys could have done a lot better. Time constraints and (I guess) the Band’s age took a toll on the match. Pretty average stuff. Nice elbow drop from Eric Young at the end of the match though.

Abyss finally shows up with a monster announcement. He says some BS about insuring the destruction of Team Flair and says Sting is a traitor or something. He says Team Hogan is coming to get Sting at LockDown. He has made his decision for the second member of Team Hogan, that man is Jeff Jarrett. Double J talks about Ric Flair getting involved in his matches and says it will start at LockDown.

Show ends with Tenay going over the acquisition of Team Hogan and a reminded to tune in an hour earlier for next week’s Impact.


About Ray Mullan
Ray Mullan is a longtime wrestling fan and Owner/Editor of TNA UK . Also a contributing writer to a number of other online wrestling media including, Wrestle Zone UK & Lords of Pain.

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