TNA iMPACT! – 05/04/2010

TNA IMPACT

TNA IMPACT!

TNA iMPACT! Report – 05/04/2010

Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

Christy Hemme opens the show with the rules for a match that will take place tonight called a Lockbox Challenge. It will be an elimation style match with the winners of the each fall getting keys to one of four lockboxes. The prizes include Tara’s spider, the Knockouts Title, an open contract for match and opponent of choice, and walking around the ring in their underwear. TBP comes in and says they will win all of the boxes and the prizes inside. Rayne says they will get what they want, deserve, and expect. Lacey says she’ll walk around in her bra and panties and everyone wins.

Hogan is out to the ring with Jarrett and Abyss and Hogan and Abyss both have mics. Hogan says that Team Hogan has some horsepower and that Flair is up to his old tricks, but he can’t be the big dog unless he beats Team Hogan. Abyss says Flair has never dealt with someone like Abyss in his whole career, and when they get in the cage at Lockdown Flair will learn the meaning of pain and suffering. Abyss says it doesn’t matter who is on Flair’s team, because Abyss and the rest of Team Hogan is going to kick their ass. Flair comes down the ramp with Chelsea, Desmond Wolfe, Sting and Beer Money. Flair mocks Hogan’s team and formally introduces his team. Flair says he has a Hall of Fame ring, and that he’s going to shove it down Abyss’s throat in St Louis at Lockdown. Hogan says Flair has an impressive team, but not to sell him short, and that Flair will find out who the rest of Hogan’s team is when the time is right. Flair and his team begin to make their way to the ring, but Jarrett tells them to hold up, and he wants to talk to Sting, without his bat. Jarrett wants to know after all of this time, why did Sting finally turn to the “darkside”. He slaps Sting in the face and Sting hits him with the Scorpion Death Drop and rolls out of the ring before Abyss can grab him. Flair tells his team to go after Abyss and Wolfe hits him with the baseball bat. They all join to go after Hogan but they are interrupted by Jeff Hardy and Rob Van Dam. They clean house and Abyss gets back up and hits Desmond Wolfe with a big boot to clear they ring. Mike Tenay announces that Rob Van Dam will face off against James Storm after the commercial break.

Rob Van Dam vs “Tennessee Cowboy” James Storm
This match is already underway when we come back from commercial and RVD sends Storm outside with a kick to the head from the middle rope. He goes for a baseball slide but Storm avoids it and sends RVD headfirst into the guardrail. He takes the match back in the ring and hits RVD with a snap suplex followed by a rear chinlock. RVD fights out and hits a kick to put Storm down. He hits a clothesline off the ropes and hits Rolling Thunder for a two count. Storm hits a desperation enziguri and hits the Eye of the Storm buts only gets a two. RVD turns it around and hits a front slam and goes up top. He hits the split-legged moonsault and gets the three count.
Winner: Rob Van Dam

After the match, RVD is celebrating and Storm turns him around and smashes a beer bottle over RVD’s head. Medical staff and security goes out to check on RVD and Storm tries going to continue the attack, but security stops him and gets him out of the ring. RVD is still being check on and there is blood all over the towels. Storm is still taunting him on the ramp and Jeff Hardy comes out and attacks him from behind before being separated by security. Hardy is checking on RVD, and Robert Roode sneaks in and hits Hardy with a spinebuster from beind. Beer Money leaves the ring and makes their way up the ramp while RVD is still being looked at.

Christy is with one of the teams for the Lockbox Challenge, which consists of Hamada, Tara, ODB and Angelina Love. She starts with Tara and she says this match is a joke and that TNA is out for ratings, but she will go out and pin someone. Angelina says it’s not fair but nothing is fair in wrestling and that she will go for Tara’s Knockout title. Tara gets upset by this and says if she wants to try and steal the title then that’s how we’ll do this and walks off. ODB says she’s going after the contract and she wants to wrestle AJ. This leaves Hamada by herself with Christy. She speaks Japanese into the camera and looks confused.

TNA Global Championship:
Big Rob Terry (c) vs Homicide

Homicide goes after Terry before the bell but has little effect. Terry picks him but the neck and then slams him down to the mat with a overhead press slam. He hits a big hip toss and then piefaces Homicide to the ground. Homicide keeps trying to get in some offense but is unsuccessful as Terry catches him and hits a powerslam for the win.
Winner and STILL Global Champion: Rob Terry

After the match, Homicide recovers and hits Terry from behind with a chair but it has no effect on him. Terry screams and Homicide hits him right in the face with another chair shot, and again it doesn’t faze Terry. Big Rob picks him up and hits a chokeslam and when he turns around his head is bleeding. Orlando Jordan’s music starts to play and he is on the top of the ramp wearing a Mardi Gras style mask. He squirts something on his chest and eats some strawberries. Big Rob is shaking his head and looks pissed about everything that was going on.

Lockbox Elimination Tag Team Match
Tara, Angelina Love, ODB & Hamada vs The Beautiful People & Daffney

Madison and Tara start the match and after Madison hits some offense Tara hits a Widow’s Peak for a really quick three count. Tara gets the win and both her and Madison are out of the match. During the commercial there is another elimination as we see Hamada miss a moonsult and Daffney hits the lobotomy for the pin. This match is now down to Velvet Sky and Lacey against ODB and Angelina Love. Velvet is in control and has ODB on the ground with a rear choke applied. She fights back and hits a corner splash and a fallaway slam. ODB kips up and tries a quick pin but is unsuccessful. Velvet comes back with a DDT and gets a pin. Angelina is in and takes it to Lacey. Lacey misses a moonsault and Angelina hits the Lights Out for the three count and the final key.
Winners (receive keys): Tara, Daffney, Velvet Sky & Angelina Love

Ladder Match (Winner receives Cage Key for Lockdown)
Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle
Mr. Anderson goes for the ladder and suplexes Angle onto it. He thinks about going for the key but sets in the corner instead. Angle reverses and hits Anderson with a belly-to-belly into the ladder. Angle runs off the ropes but Anderson throws the ladder at Angle and begins to climb it. Angle cuts him off an Angle hits an Angle Slam off the ladder and both men are down. Angle gets up and kicks Anderson out of the ring and tries to climb the ladder himself. He is slowly making his way up but Anderson tips the ladder and Angle crashes to the ground on the outside. Angle is struggling to get back up as Anderson is climbing the ladder again. Angle is on the turnbuckle and missile dropkicks the ladder to send Anderson to the mat. He hits another side suplex on Anderson and Angle is holding his ribs.

Angle lays the ladder down and puts Anderson on top of it. He pounds away at Anderson’s head and Angle goes up top to hit a huge moonsault, but hurt his ribs in the process. He sends Anderson shoulder first into the ringpost and attempts to climb the ladder once again. Anderson grabs the dog tags off of the ringpost and hits Angle in the back to stop him from climbing the ladder. He is choking Angle with the chain but Angle is still able to somehow climb the ladder. He has the key by his fingertips and is struggling to pull it down but he is still being choked by Anderson. Finally, Angle falls off the ladder as he has been choked out. Anderson easily climbs the ladder and gets the key to end the match.
Winner: Ken Anderson

JB is in the back with Hogan and he is asking about Bischoff taking things into his own hands. Hogan says he isn’t happy about it, but he won’t air dirty laundry without Eric being there. Bubba comes into the conversation and Hogan wants to know why Bubba is running with the wrong crowd. Bubba says he is having fun and that hanging with Hogan kind of sucked. Hogan tells him to have fun and Bubba leaves. Jay Lethal now walks over and is mumbling something to Hogan but Hogan doesn’t look happy to see him. Lethal says he’ll go find his Mega Powers tights and Hogan says sarcastically, “Hey Mach, go find mine!”

Christy is with Matt Morgan and when she says one-half of the tag team champions, he quickly cuts her off and says Hernandez didn’t help him win them, but almost made them lose the belts. He keeps referring to himself as “We” and says we will keep defending and staying the champions. Christy asks him what he means since he is the only one standing there, and he doesn’t elaborate and says we will defend the titles against the winner of the next match and walk off.

Team 3D vs Motor City Machine Guns
Winner receives a Tag Team Title Shot
Sabin and Brother Ray start out in a tie up before Ray gains control with a forearm shot. Sabin tries to wear down Ray with kicks and hits a springboard crossbody for a two count. Shelley and Devon tag in and Devon has Shelley isolated with a bear hug before Shelley tags out and Sabin tags in and hits running forearms on Devon and nails a double dropkick on both Ray and Devon. Ray goes to clothesline Sabin but Sabin ducks and he hits Bubba instead. Sabin hits Ray with an enziguri and then they hit a crossbody neckbreaker combo but get a two count. Ray recovers and holds Sabin while Devon hits him with the Wassup off the top. Devon goes to get a table but is hit from behind by an interfering Syxx Pac, who slams his head off the ringpost. Nash and Hall are out too, and Ray goes to fight Nash but is dropped quickly by a left by Nash. It is revealed that Nash had brass knuckles and puts them back into his pocket and The Band gets all four participants back into the ring. Syxx Pac hits an X-Factor on Ray and Hall picks up Sabin for the Outsiders Edge. Syxx Pac goes under the ring and grabs the spraypaint. He tags Shelley with it and hits Ray in the head with the can.
Result: No Contest

The Band is still in the ring as Bubba makes his way down the ramp and gets in the ring. Nash has a mic and says he has a message. He says they might not be writing the checks, but they run the show. He says Hogan is worried about Flair and Bischoff, but he should be worried about The Band, because they are his biggest nightmares. He says they are tired of carrying him and he told Bubba that they are bad people. He says he doesn’t care who like them, because he has three guys in the ring who do like him and that is all that matters.

JB is in the back with Pope D’Angelo Dinero and he says he is going to make history at Lockdown. He brings up what happened last week and says Chelsea distracted the referee, but it won’t happen again. Desmond Wolfe walk in with Chelsea and says he doesn’t even know why they are fighting again. He says he won and he should be facing AJ at Lockdown. Pope says if he thinks he should, then if Wolfe beats him tonight, then the title shot is his. Pope leaves Wolfe saying he should be ready for a whole new ballgame.

X Division Champion Doug Williams is in the ring saying he is the new X Division and that the other high-flying clowns should go back to the circus. He says they have an alternative, which is to go back to school and learn technical wrestling. Since he is a master at technical wrestling, he wants to be referred to by his full name, Douglas Williams. He announces he has arranged a gauntlet match between himself and Generation Me.

Gauntlet Match
Generation Me vs X Division Champion Douglas Williams

Jeremy starts first and puts Williams in an armbar before Williams gets to the ropes to break the hold. Williams goes to slingshot Jeremy into the turnbuckle but Jeremy reverses it and hits a moonsault from the middle rope. Jeremy hits a springboard faceplant from outside but only gets two. He tries to keep Williams down but Williams gets control and hits the Chaos Theory out of the corner for the first fall.

Max runs in and vaults over the top rope to take Williams down. He avoids a right hand by Williams by doing a backflip and then does another flip into a headscissors takedown. Max stays on offense and hits a scoop slam and a leg drop, then goes up top for a high risk move. Williams jumps up and kicks the ropes then puts Max in a guillotine type chokehold. Max tries to fight it, but is forced to tap out.
Winner: Douglas Williams

Williams keeps Max in the hold and won’t let go. The ref is calling for the bell and finally Shannon Moore runs in and breaks it up. Williams retreats to the ramp and Moore says that there is no room in the X Division for boring ass wrestlers like Williams. He says he wants a title shot at Lockdown, and if he gets it all he has to say is “Welcome to Glamrock.”

Team 3D is with Christy and all they want to know is what the hell happened. Ray says it was uncalled for, and that the Wolfpac are a bunch of disrespectful pricks. He says they have never met in the ring, but next week they will. Devon says they are from New York City, and that they are going to kick the Wolfpac’s asses all over the Impact Zone.

Title Shot at Lockdown
Pope D’Angelo Dinero vs Desmond Wolfe

Wolfe goes after Pope before the bell but Pope meets him with some strong right hands. They fight for a little while outside before Wolfe gets control and the match is officially underway. Wolfe tries for the Tower of London early but Pope gets out of it. He goes for a DD Express of his own, but Wolfe kicks him to avoid it. Pope drops his kneepads and sets up for the DDE again but changes his mind and hits Wolfe with a Codebreaker for the three count.
Winner (and keeps his title shot): Pope D’Angelo Dinero

After the match, Pope is making it rain on the ramp but is attacked by AJ Styles. AJ throws Pope into the ring and hits him with the Styles Clash. He is standing over Pope and taunting him, but he is cut off by Abyss who runs in for the save. AJ quickly jumps out of the ring and this allows Desmond Wolfe to attack. Abyss fights it off but AJ gets back in and he and Wolfe team up on Pope and Abyss. Wolfe has a fire extinguisher and hits Abyss in the head with it as AJ continues to kick away at Pope as we go into a commercial.

JB is at the top of the ramp with the key winners from the Knockouts match earlier in the night. They have the stage set up with the lockboxes and winners like it is supposed to resemble the Deal or No Deal game. JB says it is time to find out who gets what in the “Lockbox Showdown” and the boxes where placed at random. She says Velvet Sky is up first and JB tells her what might be in the box and asks if she is ready. She opens the box and she gets the open contract, and she is calling the fans perverts, saying she isn’t stripping for them. JB goes to Tara next, and he is really drawing this thing out. Tara opens her case and she gets Poison. She looks thrilled, but her mood changes when JB reminds her that because of this she is no longer Knockouts Champion.

The two remaining boxes will be opened up at the same time and JB hypes up the crowd. The cases are opened and Angelina gets the Knockouts Title and Daffney has to perform a striptease in the ring. Angelina is celebrating as Daffney tries to get out of the striptease. JB tells her if she doesn’t do it she will be fired since she signed the deal for the match. Daffney reluctantly makes her way to the ring as cheesy stripper music plays. She removes her hat, followed by her choker as she growls at the camera. She goes to remove her top but stops, and pulls the straps down to her shoulders. She begins to continue, but is interrupted by Lacey Von Erich. Lacey hits Daffney with the Ugly Stick and begins to strip herself. She reveals white lingerie under her rope and dances around the ring.

While this is happening, Tara attacks Angelina for “stealing” her title. They fight their way into the ring and and they are rolling around on the ground as Lacey is dancing around the ring. Velvet Sky grabs a microphone and says eventhough Lacey turned up the heat, she shouldn’t have upstaged Velvet. She says because of this she is cashing in her contract against Angelina next week. She says it’s going to be a leather and lace match, and she is going to kick Angelina’s ass all over the ring, and calls her a bitch. Tara and Angelina continue to fight and go after Lacey, who gets caught in the middle of them while trying to leave the ring. Security runs in the ring to break up the fight as Impact goes off the air.

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About Ray Mullan
Ray Mullan is a longtime wrestling fan and Owner/Editor of TNA UK . Also a contributing writer to a number of other online wrestling media including 1Wrestling.com, Wrestle Zone UK & Lords of Pain.

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