TNA Impact – Saturday 29/05/2010



TNA iMPACT! Report – Saturday 29/05/2010

By Raymond Mullan

The Enigma and the A-H***

Saturday 29/05/2010 @ 9pm on Bravo. Originally aired Thursday 27/05/2010 on SPIKE!

Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

We open with a look back at last week, how the top 10 contenders were set but with some controversy such as Sting attacking Bischoff and Angle withdrawing himself from the rankings.  We cut to the Impact zone as the pyro hits and Iron Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the show.

Tenay and Taz talk about the confusion over Mr. Anderson’s intentions in helping Jeff Hardy last week, with that we cut to the Charismatic Enigma himself as Hardy makes his way to the ring – “Modest to the top…..”Jeff Hardy says what’s up to the creatures and says he wants to know what is going on with Mr. Anderson. Anderson comes out to the stage and makes his way to the ring to address Hardy. Anderson says maybe he helped Hardy out to confuse him, or maybe he did it because he’s an asshole. Anderson tells Hardy his facepaint and tattoos are cool, but some old lady might call him an asshole (does the whole routine in an old lady voice – hilarious!). He says Hardy should embrace it and starts an A-S-S-H-O-L-E chant before being interuppted by Team Flair. AJ says he showed up and found out that Hardy requested a match with him and Hardy denies it. AJ says he was talking to Anderson and calls him a buttmunch. AJ asks Anderson if he knows who he is, because he’s The One. Anderson says yes he does and wants to introduce himself, and he asks for his mic from the ceiling and gives the customary “MIIIISTTTEERRRR ANDERSON!!!…….ANDERSON! – God i’m such and Anderson mark!

Match 1: Ink Inc. vs. Team 3D vs. The Band (Hall & Eric Young)

  • Moore hits a couple of hip tosses on EY and hits a bulldog from the turnbuckle for two.
  • Jesse tags in and hits EY with a springboard crossbody but EY rakes the eyes to gain control.
  • He hits a scoop slam and measures Jesse but Ray blindtags in and goes to work on Jesse.
  • He continues the punishment until Devon tags in and screams at Ray to cut it out.
  • Shannon Moore gets back in and he and Jesse send Devon into the ropes and Ray blindtags back in and clotheslines the two of them from behind.
  • Ray kicks away at Jesse and then goes to get a chair and tells Devon to shut up. Ray gets back in and walks right into a spear by Neal and gets pinned.
  • Winners: INK Inc.
  • Post match Ray gets on the mic and tells Jesse his ego is getting too big.
  • He says he wants a match at Slammiversary, one on one, teacher vs student.
  • Jesse agrees and Ray gets in Devon’s face and they yell at each other as they once again tease dissention.

Backstage Christy is interviewing Kazarian in his locker room about his match tonight. Kazarian says he has never been this confident and owes it to Flair. Flair walks in and says he wants Kazarian to focus and manhandle Jay Lethal tonight. AJ walks in and asks why Flair is in the locker room. Flair kinda blows AJ off and says AJ will be fine and he needs to talk to Kazarian about facing Lethal later on. Hopefully their going to turn AJ face, looks like their certainly going to drop the Flair/AJ mentorship anyway.

RVD is taping up and says he is calling Sting out tonight. Says he may have got one over on him, but at Slammiversary, his title belt and victory over RVD are not going to be stings.

Match 2: Kazarian vs Jay Lethal

  • Kazarian pulls Lethal towards him and punches him in the face until Lethal dropkicks him onto the ropes.
  • Lethal hits a suicide dive through the ropes and rolls Kazarian in for a quick two count pin.
  • Ric Flair comes down the ramp and distracts Lethal but strutting.
  • Kazarian pounds Lethal in the corner and then hits a springboard legdrop.
  • Lethal fights back and hits a flying forearm and a crossbody block for two.
  • Kazarian hits a jawbreaker and when he runs at Lethal he gets nailed with an enziguiri.
  • Lethal smiles at Flair and teases the Figure Four before locking it in.
  • Kazarian in screaming in pain but finally crawls to the ropes to break the hold.
  • Lethal decks Flair and then Kazarian holds Lethal’s tights and rolls him up for the win.
  • Winner: Kazarian
  • Flair stays in the ring and chops him a few times and then takes off his shirt and watch and chops Lethal in the corner.
  • Flair stops to taunt a fan and Lethal turns him into the turnbuckle and hits some chops of his own.
  • Lethal backbody drops Flair and then clotheslines him out of the ring.
  • AJ Styles runs down to the ring and beats on Lethal until Kazarian shoves him away.
  • Kazarian and AJ argue with each other and then Lethal double dropkicks them out of the ring.
  • Flair argues with the two of them on the ramp while Lethal celebrates in the ring.

The cameras go to the back and we see Ink Inc’s Shannon Moore knocked unconscious on the ground. The announcers are wondering what is going on and Moore has an ace of spades card on his back. I show i have my columbo hat on tonight as i suspect this to be the work of Orlando Jordan, if you remember a few weeks back he did the same thing to Rob Terry, now why he would attack Shannon Moore i have no idea….nor do i give a flying….you ge the picture.

Match 3: Orlando Jordan vs Abyss

  • Orlando comes out first and he is wearing Abyss pasties on his chest.
  • Thats pronounced paste – eeee’s for those thinking he’s wearing a couple of products from your local chippy on his chest
  • Chelsea reluctantly comes out with Abyss and is obviously miserable and scared.
  • OJ tries to start by hitting Abyss’s injured arm and punches at the bandages.
  • Abyss rips the pasties off and then OJ retaliates and bites Abyss’s arm.
  • OJ rips the bandages off and goes up top holding Abyss’s arm and crashes down on it. OJ runs at Abyss but he psyches up and splashes him in the corner.
  • Abyss clotheslines OJ out of the ring and then picks him up and OJ throws Abyss into Chelsea.
  • Abyss throws OJ down and goes to check on Chelsea but Desmond Wolfe runs down and hits Abyss with a pipe.
  • The ref calls for the bell, this one is thrown out.
  • He sends Abyss into the ring and Jordan and Wolfe beat down Abyss until Rob Terry came in for the save.
  • Terry hits them both with a clothesline then Wolfe bails out of the ring and OJ gets chokeslammed.
  • Abyss goes and checks on Chelsea, who is knocked out, and picks her up and carries her to the back.
  • Winner: Abyss via DQ

The TNA Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam, is out next to his usual raucous impact zone response. Anyone else should “RVD….WHOLE F’N SHOW” when he comes out?? NO?? My neighbours really hate me y’now :).  He wants to talk to Sting since he knows Sting is here, somewhere. RVD says Sting has a shot at the TNA Championship and their paths never crossed until now. Sting’s music hits but he doesn’t come out. Instead, footage of Sting beating RVD with the bat is shown. Sting is actually in the rafters and says he’s going to take the title from him. Sting says what he did on the tape is only a small taste of what he’s going to do to him at Slammiversary. Sting’s tells him it’s going to be showtime at Slammiversary and then Sting’s music hits and he disappears back into the rafters.

Footage from earlier is shown with Hogan talking to Ken Anderson. Hogan says he is in a bad spot because everyone hates him. Anderson says he is sincere and he wants to turn over a new leaf. Hogan tells him to prove it tonight in his match against AJ, and they finish by shaking hands.

Christy is in the back with Roxxi and and Roxxi says it’s good to be back but she’s been there before. Christy says because of her win last week she will meet Madison Rayne at Slammiversary for the Knockouts Title. Roxxi acts exited as she tells Madison she’ll see her at Slammiversary.

Match 4: Knockouts Tag Team Title Match
Taylor Wilde & Sarita vs The Beautiful People (Champions)

  • Sarita mocks Velvet Sky and rolls her up for two and then tags in Taylor.
  • Sarita blindtags in and rollsthrough for another two.
  • Sarita trips up Velvet and Taylor dropkicks her in the face.
  • Lacey knocks down Taylor and tags into the match.
  • Lacey locks the claw in on Taylor and slams her down for the pin.
  • Winners: And STILL Knockouts Tag Team Champions – The Beautiful People
  • After the match Puppet the midget goes down to the ring and celebrates with the TBP.
  • They are laughing with him until he slaps Velvet Sky’s behind and they attack him.
  • Velvet slaps him and Madison hits him with a DDT.
  • Velvet & Madison yell at him and leave the ring but Lacey goes to check on him.
  • Puppet pops up and kisses Lacey and she looks shocked.
  • She likes it as she kisses him back and they roll around the ring kissing.
  • The fans are cheering them on the whole time and Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne are watching from the ramp looking disgusted.
  • Did i really just see Lacey make out with a midget…..Russo you old dog!! 🙂 BTW isn’t Lacey currently in a child custody battle in real life at the moment?? Why do i get the feeling this footage will be shown at that case?

Match 5: Desmond Wolfe vs Jeff Hardy

  • Looking forward to this one
  • Wolfe hits Hardy with a European uppercut and then they run the ropes dodging each other until Hardy gets a cover attempt.
  • Hardy hits a kick through the ropes and then follows with a springboard dive to the outside.
  • Wolfe throws Hardy into the guardrail and then rolls him inside the ring.
  • Wolfe goes for a Tower of London(is he EVER going to hit that move again???) but Hardy fights him off and goes for a Twist of Fate but Wolfe hits him with a hammerlock DDT instead.
  • Hardy goes for a Whisper in the Wind but hits the ref accidentally.
  • He hits a Twist of Fate on Wolfe but the ref is out.
  • Wolfe takes the opportunity to use a sock full of quarters to hit Hardy in the head.
  • The referee gets up after this and makes the three count for Wolfe.
  • Winner – Desmond Wolfe

Matt Morgan is back out in the ring. Two weeks ago we got jumped from the back by that savage Samoa Joe. Next we get robbed of the tag titles by Hall and Nash. Now he’s told we need to find a new partner to get back the titles we never lost. We believe in helping elevate others though and can turn this negative into a positive. He puts out an open invite to anybody come out and tryout for greatness. No one comes out but Morgan sees Angle at commentary and asks if he wants the shot. Morgan calls him a little bald guy so Angle finally goes to the ring. Morgan asks him if he wants to become a star. Angle says didn’t he pin Morgan the last time they were in the ring? Morgan laughs at him and says he’ll slow it down and ask again. Does he want to be his partner or not? He then takes a cheap shot at Angle and says “not”. Angle goes after Morgan but security holds Angle back. Angle tries to get at Morgan as Morgan laughs, then Samoa Joe’s music hits and he comes out. Morgan takes off and says he didn’t get his answer and leaves while Joe and Angle have a staredown. Both men leave the ring without physical contact. That was quite funny, digging this Morgan angle at the moment, interested to see where this goes.
Match 6: AJ Styles vs Mr. Anderson

  • Both guys lock up with each other and AJ keeps Anderson in a side headlock.
  • Anderson reserves it and puts AJ in one of his own.
  • AJ tries picking Anderson up and side suplexing him, but Anderson rolls through and keeps the hold locked in.
  • AJ finally gets out and puts Anderson in a leg scissors and Anderson rolls him up for two.
  • AJ chops away at Anderson and Anderson answers with right hands.
  • AJ hits a dropkick and poses to the boos from the fans.
  • Anderson picks up AJ and hits a rolling fireman’s carry but AJ gets right back up and hits an enziguiri.
  • Anderson starts to fight back and hits a crossbody but AJ rolls through it and uses the ropes to pin Anderson and win the match.
  • Winner – AJ Styles
  • After the match, Anderson admits AJ got him, got him at his own freaking game.
  • He thinks AJ pulled his tights and wants to know if anyone saw it.
  • He asks the “assholes” if AJ did and they chant “yes he did” so Anderson attacks AJ.
  • Beer Money runs out and helps AJ beat Anderson down.
  • Hardy’s music hits and he runs out with a steel chair to make the save.
  • Beer Money bails out of the ring and Hardy and Anderson square off.
  • Anderson bumps into Hardy as he gets up, Hardy turns in surprise but stops himself from hitting Anderson with the chair.
  • The two pause for a moment, Hardy puts his hand out to shake and Anderson accepts and shakes Hardy’s hand.
  • That was awesome, nice the way the whole thing came full circle with the handshake, i liked it. With that were done for this week!!
  • Top to bottom a really solid show, one of the best TNA offerings in recent weeks.

As always readers, drop me a line at always like to chat with fellow TNA fans!! Until next time, i’m outta here!


About Ray Mullan
Ray Mullan is a longtime wrestling fan and Owner/Editor of TNA UK . Also a contributing writer to a number of other online wrestling media including, Wrestle Zone UK & Lords of Pain.

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