TNA iMPACT! Report – Saturday 08/01/2011

TNA iMPACT!

TNA iMPACT! - “Genesis… The Beginning… or the end."

TNA iMPACT! Report – Saturday 08/01/2011

Courtesy of PWTorch.com

“Genesis… The Beginning… or the end.”

 

Aired Saturday 08/01/2011 on TNAOnDemand.com. Originally aired Thursday 06/01/2011 on SPIKE!

Commentators: Mike Tenay & Taz

 

-After a brief recap of the storyline last week with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson showing signs of concussion side effects, the title of the show was shown on the screen: “Genesis… The Beginning… or the end.”

-Ric Flair and Eric Bischoff led Fortune and Immortal to the ring. Mike Tenay talked about the goal of Bischoff to acquire all the titles because with titles come power. It’s good they continue to drive that theme home. Bischoff said Genesis is the beginning of everything not only for Immortal, but all of the fans, any prospects or young wrestler and anyone associated with TNA. He said even though he has put a bounty on every title, he isn’t encouraging cheating or underhanded tactics. He said the tactics he is encouraging would be okay with judges and lawyers in Dallas. He called Jay Lethal to the ring.

Bischoff encouraged Lethal to enter the ring. He gave him his word that he’d be fine. As Lethal stepped onto the ring apron, he said he couldn’t promise him that he could control Immortal if he didn’t act like a champion upon entering. He then called The Motor City Machine Guns to the ring. Tenay said they’re recognized as the greatest tag team in the world today. Bischoff then called Douglas WIlliams to the ring. Taz praised Bischoff for the professionalism of his introductions for the champions.

Bischoff said they’re all champions. He said everyone is looking forward to five-star matches from each of them. He said they plan to have the best pay-per-view in the history of pay-per-views. No tricks, no games, no b.s. – just great matches. He said in the spirit of fairness and the discretion he has, he wanted to give each of them a chance to sharpen their competitive skills so they’re warmed up properly for Genesis. He announced Lethal would face Abyss, Williams would face Rob Terry, and the Machine Guns would face Styles & Kazarian. Bischoff was hyperventilating and overacting here and even lost his spot a bit by starting to announce the Guns’ opponents before Terry, then going back to them after building up the reveal as more than it was. If he was going for some effect, it didn’t seem to work. He encouraged everyone to shake hands. Instead, a brawl broke out. Bischoff said that wasn’t what they talked about. He said there would be fines. Rob Van Dam’s music played and he charged to the ring and helped clear the ring of Immortal and Fortune.

RVD said he’s ready to quit playing games as soon as he’s ready to put his so-called champion in the ring with him. He insisted Bischoff tell him the name of his opponent at Genesis. Bischoff said he’d tell him when he’s good and ready. RVD said he’ll find out tonight even if he has to beat it out of his “manipulative little ass.” Apparently that was enough to completely set off Bischoff who had to be held back by Abyss. The acting in this, especially Bischoff’s acting, was off from the usual standards. He was selling the idea that he is stressed out over Dixie Carter’s lawyers trying to take his power away, but it came off as clunky acting.

-A promo aired with Bully Ray challenging Devon to meet him in the parking lot for a fight. [c]

-A video package aired highlighting Jeff Jarrett’s ongoing “MMA expert” storyline including Amazing Red’s brother beating him up.

-Jarrett came out and said he needed to make a few tweaks to the Double-J MMA Challenge. He said he had to due it due to legal concerns by TNA. He said from now on anyone who accepts his challenge has to be shorter than him because he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Funny. He said the MMA challenges must now be exhibitions. “No more real competitions,” he said, again saying it’s because he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. He said he has a release ready to sign on his clipboard. He asked if there were any takers. He asked if Boo Boo Stewart, a kid from the “Twlight Saga” who was in the crowd, wanted to accept, but then turned away. He stood up, though, and got Jarrett’s attention.

Jarrett went to ringside and measured. Jarrett was taller, but since Boo Boo is in the Junior Black Belt Hall of Fame, Jarrett changed his mind. He said he’s disqualified because he will some day be taller than him. He instead picked out a short fan in the crowd wearing a TNA t-shirt. The guy had trouble getting over the security railing. Taz wondered if he could even write. He said his name is Jonathan Cruz from San Juan, Puerto Rico now residing in Florida. Jarrett attacked him and threw him to the mat. Tenay said it’s ridiculous that he calls it an exhibition. Jarrett got a tapout win with an anklelock. Jarrett didn’t release the hold. Tenay said Team Jarrett “could care less” (he meant they “couldn’t care less”). Kurt Angle leaped over the security railing and made the save, so Jarrett fled up the ramp. Jarrett said he had no business being there. Angle said they’re about the same height, and since it’s an exhibition, they don’t have to worry about anyone getting hurt. He bent over and picked up the clip board and said if he signed this contract for Genesis, nobody would get hurt.

Jarrett yelled that Angle vowed to never wrestle again. Angle said that’s true, but this wouldn’t be a wrestling match, it’d be an exhibition. He signed the contract as Jarrett told him not to go there. Angle said he’d see him at Genesis.

[Q3] [c]

-A recap aired of the previous segment. Tenay said it’s now official: Jarrett vs. Angle at Genesis.

-They went to Tenay and Taz at ringside. Taz said, “Good gosh, did Jarrett outsmart himself or what?”

1 — A.J. STYLES & KAZ vs. THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS

At 5:00 Styles swung a title belt at Shelley, but Shelley ducked and Sabin kicked Styles. Shelley then took Styles down with Sliced Bread and scored the pin.

WINNERS: Machine Guns in 5:00.

-Bischoff stepped onto the stage looking unhappy. Beer Money jumped the Guns from behind. Styles made his way up the ramp and saw the disappointment in Bischoff’s face. Tenay said it looks like Styles must win the TV Title “or else.”

-The Pope said somebody has been following him around, so he’s going to make it his very own business to call that person out. He said he’s been falsely accused and will demand an apology. Has anyone really accused him of anything? The footage told a story, but the announcers didn’t even call him on anything. [c]

[Q4]

-Bischoff sat at his desk and told Styles that he tries to control his temper and manage the lack of patience, but when he realizes they have less than 72 hours to get done what they need to get done, and Styles’s task is so simple. Styles said it’s not simple to beat the tag champs. He said they softened them up for him. Flair chimed in and told Styles to stay calm. Styles asked Flair if he won every one of his matches. Bischoff said he has three days to get the job done, “or else.” Styles asked, “Or else what?” Bischoff said he doesn’t even want to know.

-The Pope said his congregation trusts him with their lives and hard-earned money. For some reason, the director cut to women in the crowd cheering him. That wasn’t the response they were looking for, so why highlight it? Pope called out the person who had been monitoring him to show himself. Samoa Joe’s music played and he walked to the ring. Joe said some think he’s a street saint, but he thinks he’s a scum bag. Joe said what the camera revealed was Pope going to a strip club and then redirecting charitable donations to his own wants. He said it turns out the orphanages didn’t get any puppies and don’t allow puppies. (I’d love to see that skit – Samoa Joe going to orphanages asking if they got any new puppies donated.) But he had 35 noise complaints at his house this week. He asked him if he’s really a street saint or a scum bag.

Pope told Joe he won’t let anyone pass judgment on him. He said he’s been judged his whole life and he won’t let “some Samoan comin’ out here passing judgment on me.” He said when he went to the strip clubs, he was preaching to the women that they don’t need to do that to earn a buck to make it through college. Pope said the pitbulls that he tried to save from the fights are the best company a kid having a hard time can have. That doesn’t exactly answer where the dogs ended up. Pope said the next time he comes out there and tries to accuse him inaccurately, they’ll have a problem. “You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Tenay said Pope had an answer for all of the accusations. Actually, no. Not really at all. He answered one – why he went to the strip club. He didn’t explain why the dogs didn’t end up at orphanages or why there were noise complaints at his house.

-They showed Mickie James and Velvet Sky heading toward the entrance tunnel. [c]

-Devon – whose scar tissue fro excessive blading was on full display with this close-up – said he’s been waiting for this opportunity to fight Ray in the parking lot. He said he has some ass kicking to get to.

[Q5]

2 — VELVET SKY & MICKIE JAMES vs. SARITA & MADISON RAYNE

Tenay was very amused by a Freudian slip when Taz said something about “Marylyn Cha.. Marylyn Monroe.” Tenay sang, “It’s only January and that’s the Freudian slip of the year.” I don’t get it. [Edit: I’m told Marilyn Chambers was a famous pronographic star in the 1970s, which explains Tenay’s response. It seemed to be the most genuinely amused Tenay has ever been calling Impact. I’d like to thank specifically by name the following people for letting me know… Okay, I won’t mention the names of the people who immediately emailed to let me know where Taz was going with that!] Mickie tackled Rayne when she interfered at 4:00. Mickie then gave her a neckbreaker before the ref ordered her out of the ring. Tara then elbowed Sky with her elbow brace and Rayne rolled on top for the pin.

WINNERS: Rayne & Tara in 5:00.

-Backstage RVD confronted Bischoff and asked him to sign a match for him against Jeff Hardy for the TNA World Title at Genesis. Bischoff told RVD he knows all about the “Power of Now” (I would have bet against an Ekhart Tolle reference from Bischoff.) He said his moment is tonight because he has a match tonight. RVD asked who it was against. Bischoff said he was working on that now. RVD said, “More head games. I see. I don’t know how I avoided it my whole career, but now I get to be manipulated by you. Right on. Let’s do this thing. I’ll kick this guy’s ass, then I’ll kick Jeff Hardy’s ass.” [c]

3 — ROB TERRY vs. DOUGLAS WILLIAMS

Williams ducked two charges by Terry. Terry was mad. Williams then grabbed Terry’s neck and cranked on it while kneeing him. Terry checked a charging Williams, knocking him to the floor. Styles then attacked Williams. It’s so fun watching how TNA covers for how green Terry is.

WINNER: Williams via DQ in 1:00.

-They showed Ray heading toward the parking lot.

[Q6] [c]

-In the parking lot security held back Devon from Ray as Ray trash-talked Devon. Ray taunted Devon who grew frustrated with being held back. Devon called Ray a coward and a bully. Ray called Devon a sidekick and told him to go home. Ray kept taunting Devon, but security kept holding him back. Ray yelled, “Do something!” Then he kicked a prone Devon in the chest. Ray then kicked one of the security guards. Ray bent over and told Devon he could kick him in the back of his head, but he’s not. He warned him to go back to his wife and kids and not to show up at Genesis. Why was security holding back Devon and why aren’t the announcers asking that obvious question, or at least acting outraged at their actions. At least Taz said it wasn’t a fair fight.

-Jarrett told Bischoff that he can’t wait until Sunday because he has a gameplan. He has “an insurance policy on my insurance policy.” He said he couldn’t wait. As he left to go train, Bischoff said he had a problem he can solve. He said RVD can’t quit obsessing about the TNA TItle he claims he never lost. Jarrett said he’d happily take care of it after Genesis. Bischoff said he needs it done tonight. Jarrett said Angle is still in the house and he’s already had one tough fight. Bischoff explained that it’s a no DQ match, so he’s got him covered. He encouraged him to “use all the tools of the trade.” Jarrett felt good about it.

-Abyss’s ring entrance took place. [c]

[Q7]

4 — “THE MONSTER” ABYSS vs. JAY LETHAL

Tenay hyped his sit-down interview with Matt Morgan and Mr. Anderson. He said it’s must-see. At 3:00 the ref DQ’d Abyss for choking Lethal in the corner without breaking at the count of five.

WINNER: Lethal via DQ in 3:00.

-Kazarian then walked out, smiling at the punishment Abyss was doling out against his Genesis opponent. Kaz insincerely asked Abyss to stop because he was hurting Lethal. I wonder if Abyss understands sarcasm. Kaz said if Lethal doesn’t have a pulse, he can’t beat him at Genesis. Kaz asked Lethal to stand up. Lethal was on his back in the corner not moving. Abyss helped Lethal to his feet. Kaz said it’ll be a pleasure getting into the ring with him at Genesis. He offered to shake his hand. Abyss grabbed Kaz’s hand and placed it against Kaz’s. Kaz shook his hand; Abyss then threw Kaz hard to the mat.

-A clip aired of the Morgan and Anderson interview with Tenay. [c]

-They showed Taz and Tenay at the announce desk. Taz said Genesis will set the tone for 2011. Tenay threw to a video package to Madina Lake’s “Hey Superstar.” Good video presentation recapping the major angles and conflicts leading to the PPV. It’s always tough to sell a PPV without the World Title being defended, although they did sneak in an image of Hardy holding up the TNA World Title at the very end of the video.

-Tenay sat in an empty Impact Zone in the ring with Morgan and Anderson. He said the closer they get to Genesis, it seems neither one understands the predicament the other is in. Tenay asked Anderson if he understands the sacrifice Morgan made by leaving Immortal. Anderson said he thanked him for that. He asked if he wants him to hire a marching band to get the point across. He said now he’s tired of hearing about it. Tenay told Morgan that Anderson has been told that if he doesn’t compete on Sunday, he’s out of the World Title picture. Morgan said Bischoff is loving every single second of this. He said Anderson is intelligent and he should see through this. Morgan said he has a family at the end of the day and if he was in the same situation as Anderson, his family would come first. He said he should sit out this one match because by wrestling, he’s screwing himself for the next 20-30 years (by wrestling with a concussion).

Anderson told Tenay and Morgan not to talk about his family. He said he signed up to wrestle, and sometimes they get hurt. Anderson said he took two months off and now his doctor says he’s able to compete so he can take care of his family more effectively. Tenay said they haven’t seen proof of a medical clearance. Anderson said it’s nobody’s freaking’ business. Morgan pressed the issue. Anderson made a third grader cross-eyed face. Tenay said he can’t quite get a read on Anderson. He asked if he’s possibly “working” everyone. (Ohhh, they said an insider term on TV!) Anderson said, “You never know.” He said he will step foot in the ring at Genesis and “assholes always finish first.” Morgan said if Anderson gets in the ring, the gloves are off because he has no choice but to be an athlete in an athletic contest and try to win. Morgan and Anderson then stood up and Morgan gave Anderson a final warning. Good segment, although I’m not sure how or why they got through it without saying “concussion” [c]

5 — JEFF JARRETT vs. ROB VAN DAM

Taz wondered who RVD will have to face on Sunday. Tenay said Bischoff won’t tell him because he’s into mind games. The “You Sold Out!” chants began after the bell. RVD took Jarrett down with a spin wheel kick (which Taz called a round kick, and he knows better than that). RVD hit Jarrett with a sidekick off the second rope next, then went for Rolling Thunder. Jarrett rolled to the floor. Jarrett did a lap around ringside. When he reentered, RVD met him with a forearm. Murphy tripped RVD from behind, giving Jarrett an opening to go on the offensive. Jarrett put RVD in a sleeper mid-ring. RVD elbowed out of it and then clotheslined Jarrett to the mat. One of the Team Jarrett members dove at RVD. RVD sidestepped him. Tenay pointed out it was no DQ. The rest of Team Jarrett charged at RVD. Eventually Murphy and Gunner got RVD down and held him for Jarrett who took some free shots at him. RVD made a Tommy Dreamer comeback with kicks to everyone. Jeff Hardy ran out and gave RVD a Twist of Hate. Jarrett rolled RVD over and the ref counted to three.

WINNER: Jarrett in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *3/4 — Told the story it intended to tell well enough.

-Afterward Jarrett held RVD as Hardy punched him. Morgan ran out and made the save with punches and clotheslines. He lifted Jarrett and slammed him face-first into the corner. Hardy then lifted a chair and was going to hit Morgan with it, but Anderson yanked it away from Hardy and swung it at Hardy. Hardy moved, though, and the chair hit Morgan across the back. Tenay stammered and asked if it was really an accident. Taz said he couldn’t tell. Tenay said you never know when it comes to Anderson. I’m all for people who are trying to act eliminating the fake stammering; it’s so contrived sounding.

In the big picture, a nice enough final angle leading into the PPV, but I wish the announcers were allowed to have a higher IQ on display, since the obvious thing to say in that situation was that Anderson probably wasn’t trying to hit Morgan because he stopped Hardy from hitting Morgan with the chair seconds earlier. Then the other announcer could come back with: “Maybe he wanted to deliver it himself.” Then the other counters back: “Yeah, maybe, but what if Hardy hadn’t moved. Anderson was clearly swinging at Hardy, and he couldn’t have possibly known Hardy was going to move.” In other words, the average viewer at home is thinking through that in their head, while the announcers are having this low-IQ dumbed down conversation for the sake of simplicity and at the expense of credibility and causing a distraction where the viewer isn’t thinking about the angle itself but rather how stupid the announcers are for not considering any of those factors.

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About Ray Mullan
Ray Mullan is a longtime wrestling fan and Owner/Editor of TNA UK . Also a contributing writer to a number of other online wrestling media including 1Wrestling.com, Wrestle Zone UK & Lords of Pain.

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