IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT: “PLEASE STAND UP” – 05/07/11

IMPACT Wrestling: “Please Stand Up"

IMPACT Wrestling: “Please Stand Up”
Tuesday 5th July 2011 – 10pm on Challenge

THIS WEEK ON IMPACT WRESTLING:
Hulk Hogan welcomes Scott Steiner to Immortal and asks Mr. Anderson to reconsider his offer of a spot within the group.
A joker like Sting attacks Hogan and Immortal, asking the “Real” Hulk Hogan to please stand up again. This sets up a main event match with Scott Steiner.
Devon d. Samoa Joe in a BFG Series match
Low Ki d. Matt Bentley and Jimmy Yang to earn a spot at Destination X and a chance at an IMPACT Wrestling contract.
Mickie James, Ms. Tessmacher & Tara d. Winter, Angelina Love & Madison Rayne in a Knockouts Elimination Match
Daniels and AJ Styles sign the contract for their main event bout at Destination X.
RVD & Jerry Lynn take exception to Daniels and Styles boasts at having “built the X-Division”, all parties agree to a one night only four-way match next week.
British Invasion demand a Number 1 Contenders match with Mexican America.
An update from Jeff and Karen Jarrett in Mexico. They promise to return soon and they are bringing a gift for every member of Immortal.
Sting d. Scott Steiner
Kurt Angle makes the save as Hogan and Immortal Jump Sting.

Welcome to another addition of iMPACT Wrestling and my review. We open the show with Hulk Hogan in the back welcoming Scot Steiner to Immortal. As Steiner goes on his way Hogan starts walking and you hear Sting laughing as Hogan walks up he see Sting on a massive TV. Sting looks more like the Joker again this week. Sting rambles more stuff at Hogan and it looks like he has got inside Hulks head.

Hogan’s music is playing as he makes his way from the back to the ring and he says he is getting straight down to it and calls out Mr Anderson. Hogan tells Anderson he has 2 options, 1 to join Immortal or 2 to go it alone. Hogan adds that if he goes it alone he will end up being beaten and embarrassed by Sting. Anderson says that is unlikely as he has beaten Sting by himself before. Hogan brings up how Anderson owes Bischoff for helping him beat Sting, Anderson of course says it was he who will take all the credit for beating Sting as he will in 2 weeks time. (Am guessing they are making the iMPACT Wrestling broadcast in 2 weeks more like a PPV as the PPV on Sunday 10th is an X Division only. That is X Division PPV without the X Division belt!)

Anyway we cut to the back and Sting is beating up Bully Ray, Abyss (yes the current holder of the afore mentioned X Division belt) and Scott Steiner. Sting says he is going to come find Hogan and Hogan basically tells him to.

Back in the ring and the lights all go out and when I say out I mean right out even the camera flashes don’t make any difference, When they go back on Sting is standing behind Hogan and takes him out with a baseball bat to the knee. At this point Anderson decides to get out of there. Sting tells us that 14th July should be called Mid Summer Nightmare as he hits Hogan again, I know these shots aren’t that hard but we all know Hogan shouldn’t be taking shots really so it all adds to the effect of Sting being out of control. Sting went on to tell us about the three Hogan commandments which if you were a wrestling fan in the 80’s or 90’s you will know are say your prayers, eat your vitamins and train hard.

Sting looks at Hogan and despite the obvious still says Hogan works out which you can see he still does but to say he still has 21 inch pythons is a joke. Fine Hogan works out but they are not as big as they used to be back in the day! Things then started to get a little uncomfortable for me as a viewer Sting grabbed the box of vitamin and started force feeding them to Hogan, I can understand the effect but I thought it was unneccessary and doesn’t set a good example as the amount he shoved down Hogan’s throat would have made him OD. Ok I know he spat most out but you can see what I mean. Sting then grabs Hogan and hooks in the Scorpion Death lock. I guess this is where Hogan has to say his prayers. Sting threatens to sit down and when watching you think if he does he will break Hogan’s back. At this point the rest of Immortal come out with Bully Ray giving the ironic of all ironic lines that he “can’t stand bully’s”. He then says he’s never faced Sting in the ring so now he’s going challenge him and tonight it will be Sting Vs… Scott Steiner!

This was a good opening segment and Hogan being put in these situations with everyone knowing the reality of his current situation it makes for interesting viewing. The problem I have is that this whole thing is making Sting look like the heel and making Immortal face without any real turn and the whole thing is bizarre and especially Bully Ray in a red and yellow Hulk Hogan t-shirt. The fact that there has been no reason for the whole change but I am sure that’s what they want and it will become apparent.

Mike Tenay and Taz run down the latest Bound For Glory Series results and Crimson currently leads with 17 points and Gunner second with 14. I am struggling with this a little bit as the way iMPACT Wrestling is taped its awkward to get your head round the scoring system because sometimes t.v. matches are taped before house show matches leading to confusion.

Anyway we have our first match.

BFGS match Samoa Joe Vs Devon

This wasn’t a bad match as to be fair although both of these are big men they both move round the ring at speed and can take pretty decent bumps. The finish came when Joe set Devon up for the Muscle Buster but Devon fought out, Joe however manage to hit with him with a knee strike and then locked in his choke hold. Devon rolled out and hit a spinebuster for the 1-2-3

Winner: Devon (7 BFGS points)

Joe is stunned and PO’d that he missed opportunities to pin as he was going for the submission as it carries more points. Devon however has gained his first points of the Series. Backstage we see Pope celebrating with Devon’s kids and they say they are now going to find Devon’s wife. They seem to be doing this whole thing again with the wife story line having just finished with Kurt, Jeff and Karen. I just find it a little bit uncomfortable to watch.

Kaz is in the back and sees Joe return to the locker room. He tells Joe he is better than this and he should be killing people out there. Joe shouts back at Kaz as security gets between them Kaz tells Joe he knows where to find him if he’s got a problem.

We go out to the ring where we have the next Destination X Tournament match Low Ki Vs Matt Bentley Vs Jimmy Yang

Once again a great X Division match highlighting the talents of Low Ki and Jimmy Yang that have been so underutilized in other promotions. It also shows that the current storyline of Abyss holding the X Division title is stupid and the fact that it doesn’t look like the X Division title will not be on the line at Destination X makes a mockery out of the whole PPV in my opinion. Now I could be wrong as am sure I have seen something about Abyss Vs Kendrick, but again I thought this was an X Division only PPV?!

This was a great fast paced match with lots of high flying moves which is what the X Division should be. Low Ki picked up the win after hitting the Warrior’s Way on Bentley for the win.

Winner: Low Ki (advances to Destination X)

In the back we see Madison Rayne getting ready for her match. She runs her mouth over Tara, At this point Winter and Angelina come in and Madison accuses them of stealing her lip gloss.

What an awful pointless segment the only thing it did was show a little tension between Madison, Winter and Angelina as they go into their match tonight. It might just be me because I can’t stand Madison talking as her voice goes right through me.

We see some “mobile phone footage” which must have been of the highest spec mobile phone I have ever seen and sent to iMPACT Wrestling super fast. Anyway it chose Joe and Kaz beating the crap out of each other with Joe coming out the better and walking off.

Hogan is shown walking in the back taping his hand saying Sting has embarrassed him for the last time as we head back out to the ring,

Knockouts Elimination match Winter, Angelina Love and Madison Rayne Vs Tara, Miss Tessmacher and Mickie James

This match was all about continuing some feuds and potentially setting up other before one has even finished. I don’t understand the need to rush storylines just for the sake of it. After the match Tessmacher was only there for the T’n’A factor. Madison and Tara continued their feud while Winter and Angelina had a slight disagreement over who should pin Mickie which sets in motion a split far too quickly, this allowed Mickie to recover after a beat down and lay both Winter and Angelina out for the win after a leaping DDT on Winter.

Winner: Mickie James 

Gunner is in the back saying basically tonight is the rubber match with AJ Styles.

Out in the ring JB is there with a table all set up for a contract signing. Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles come out, Styles asked Daniels does he really want to do this and Daniels just signs the contract as does AJ and they shake hands, As they do random unidentified music (my bugbear) hits and Jerry Lynn  comes down and goes on about it doesn’t matter who built the X Division the fact is they all built it. Next thing we know RVD’s music hits and he’s out to the ring, he basically says he was X Division before there was an X Division. Jerry Lynn comes back at him and says he stood toe to toe with him for a full year, Daniels gets in between the two to calm them down and he tells us none of them invented the X Division but they all perfected it. Daniels tells us that the two headlining matches for Destination X, Daniels-AJ and RVD-Lynn could make it the best PPV of all time. He suggests that we have a preview next week in a four corners match with all four participating, they all accept and the crowd like this idea.

This alone could be a PPV match and could very well turn out if its done properly a match of the year candidate.

As everyone leaves Gunner attacks AJ from nowhere, he rolls him into the ring. AJ manages to recover and throws Gunner back to the floor. Conveniently referee Earl Hebner is out in the ring and AJ tells him to ring the bell for the match.

BFGS match AJ Styles Vs Gunner

This match again shows that Gunner has so much potential that just a few short weeks ago I didn’t give him credit for. Both men worked their socks off even though this was a relatively short match. Gunner managed to hit the F5 in this match. I am now starting to like the push Gunner is getting and can’t wait to see where it ends.

Winner: Gunner (7 BFGS points)

Gunner now leads the BFGS Series.

Mexican America come out to the ring and waffle on about how they have beaten everybody blah blah blah. Sorry I am so bored of this group already and the fact Sarita and Rosita never seem to defend their knockout titles and that Hernandez and Anarquia seem to think somehow they become number one contenders for the tag belts when they haven’t seemed to do anything to deserve it. Talking of this the team don’t get me wrong I really like The British Invasion who remember last PPV got a tag title shot out of nowhere come out and tell MA they haven’t beaten them. British Invasion then challenge Mexican America to a match to find out who is the real number one contender to Beer Money’s crown. Magnus basically calls Sarita and Rosita prostitutes when saying leave them at home when they have the match, unsurprisingly Rosita takes offence and spits in Magnus’ face and slaps him. A brawl then breaks out and while Mexican America gets the upper hand, Rob Terry runs out and makes the save seemingly reforming the whole of British Invasion as Mexican America get out of dodge.

We see a video of Jeff  and Karen Jarrett in Mexico city they say they are having a great time and when they get back they have presents for Hogan and Bischoff.

We go into Immortal’s locker room and we see Bully Ray rallying the troops. He tells Abyss to get ready but Abyss can’t find hid mask. Abyss slams the locker room door shut  so he can find it.

Sting Vs Scott Steiner

For the second week running JB doesn’t manage to get through the ring introductions as this week Steiner attacks Sting from the off. Considering I am not a massive fan of either of these mens in ring work this wasn’t a bad match. The win seemingly came from nowhere however as Sting hit the Scorpion Deathdrop having seemingly taken a beating for most of the match.

Winner: Sting

After the match Sting pulled out the now famous red facepaint, however Bully ray Hulk Hogan top and all tries to make the save but Sting takes him out and then goes after Ray with the paint. Anderson then runs in hits a low blow on Sting from behind then hits Sting with an awful looking Mic Check. I am not sure who to blame for this but it just didn’t seem to come off. Anderson rolls out the ring, a rejuvenated Ray and Steiner beat down Sting. At this point the crowd noise seem to be booing when to me this whole night it has seemed that Sting has been playing the heel and for the last few weeks. Steiner and Ray shout for Hogan who ambles out and proceeds to hit Sting with the right hand of doom. Now to make matters more confusing Kurt Angle runs out to a massive pop to make the save on Sting. As the show goes off air Hogan is shouting stuff back at Angle in the ring.

I don’t know how in the space of two weeks some of the writing has become so screwy, storylines seem to be being rushed while others are not being explained and are so confusing to the viewer. I am assuming part of it is to do with this PPV they have coming up that is an X Division only PPV so the build tp Hardcore Justice has to wait a little while they build Destination X which doesn’t  have or doesn’t seem to have any real or coherent storylines to it.

Anyway that’s all from me this week I will be back next week with another report if you would like to follow me please do so on twitter.com/peg_leg5125 and as always comments are more than welcome.